Post by Isaac Lahey on Oct 29, 2015 22:06:20 GMT
Isaac desperately hoped that Scott wouldn't suddenly decide to walk into the kitchen and see him in this pathetic state. It was bad enough that Melissa was witnessing his break down but his friend to see him this way would be even worse. Why couldn't he just stop crying like a little baby? So many emotions were crashing down over him – shame, frustration, pain; he felt like his head was going to explode and he just couldn't handle it. He wished he could just be normal for a change. No wonder Derek didn't want to deal with all his issues anymore. And now fear got mixed into this cocktail of feelings. Fear that after his crying fit, Melissa would be so overwhelmed by her guest's baggage that she would decide to search for another place for him to stay.
His chest was still being rocked by sobs, although they'd become more quiet now. It was like Melissa's arms around him were holding his chest together, Isaac was sure he would go into panic mode if it wasn't for her embracing him. The teen was shaking in the chair the nurse had put under him and his teeth were shattering in between sobs. 'Quit crying like a little girl, you little shit!', he heard his father's voice yell inside his head. The memory of his dad's screams made him tremble even more as he remembered the freezer he would surely have been thrown into by now had he behaved like this in the Lahey household. “I'm...I'm sorry!”, he managed to get out in a shaky voice and probably sounded like a broken record by now. 'All you can do is apologize for all your stupid mess-ups', his father pitched in again.
Since his father had died, Isaac's confidence in himself had grown considerably but right now, he felt like that scared little boy again. The boy who was always bracing himself for the next punch, shying away from any touch because he was certain everyone was out to hurt him.
He didn't want to act this way, didn't want the people around him to think he was constantly pitying himself and looking for attention because of his troubled past. Usually, he didn't really care what Stiles thought about him because the two of them didn't really get along that well. One of the reasons for their dislike of each other was probably their jealousy of the time Scott spent with the other one. Still, there was one sentence Stiles had said that still bothered the young beta and that confirmed some of his worries. He hardly ever brought up the topic of his father's abuse, but at one of Stiles's comments about his negativity, he'd mentioned the freezer he had so frequently been locked into and the other kid had reminded him not to milk this topic over and over again.
Since then, Isaac had never mentioned another word of his childhood abuse, even though it was eating him up inside. He didn't want people to think that he used his past as an excuse for everything. He didn't want to be defined by the worst thing that ever happened to him although it was all he could think about lately. He could hardly sleep anymore because of all his bad dreams and night terrors and the added fear of Melissa or Scott hearing him whine and struggle during the night, waking them up in the process. It just seemed like a vicious circle he couldn't get out of. Melissa had tentatively asked him if he wanted to go into therapy before, but he'd tried to assure her that counseling wasn't necessary. He didn't want other's to think of him as more of a nut job than they already did and he was sure the nurse, who was already struggling financially as it was, would have to pay high bills just so he could talk to somebody with a note pad who would probably care more about the money than about him.
His chest was still being rocked by sobs, although they'd become more quiet now. It was like Melissa's arms around him were holding his chest together, Isaac was sure he would go into panic mode if it wasn't for her embracing him. The teen was shaking in the chair the nurse had put under him and his teeth were shattering in between sobs. 'Quit crying like a little girl, you little shit!', he heard his father's voice yell inside his head. The memory of his dad's screams made him tremble even more as he remembered the freezer he would surely have been thrown into by now had he behaved like this in the Lahey household. “I'm...I'm sorry!”, he managed to get out in a shaky voice and probably sounded like a broken record by now. 'All you can do is apologize for all your stupid mess-ups', his father pitched in again.
Since his father had died, Isaac's confidence in himself had grown considerably but right now, he felt like that scared little boy again. The boy who was always bracing himself for the next punch, shying away from any touch because he was certain everyone was out to hurt him.
He didn't want to act this way, didn't want the people around him to think he was constantly pitying himself and looking for attention because of his troubled past. Usually, he didn't really care what Stiles thought about him because the two of them didn't really get along that well. One of the reasons for their dislike of each other was probably their jealousy of the time Scott spent with the other one. Still, there was one sentence Stiles had said that still bothered the young beta and that confirmed some of his worries. He hardly ever brought up the topic of his father's abuse, but at one of Stiles's comments about his negativity, he'd mentioned the freezer he had so frequently been locked into and the other kid had reminded him not to milk this topic over and over again.
Since then, Isaac had never mentioned another word of his childhood abuse, even though it was eating him up inside. He didn't want people to think that he used his past as an excuse for everything. He didn't want to be defined by the worst thing that ever happened to him although it was all he could think about lately. He could hardly sleep anymore because of all his bad dreams and night terrors and the added fear of Melissa or Scott hearing him whine and struggle during the night, waking them up in the process. It just seemed like a vicious circle he couldn't get out of. Melissa had tentatively asked him if he wanted to go into therapy before, but he'd tried to assure her that counseling wasn't necessary. He didn't want other's to think of him as more of a nut job than they already did and he was sure the nurse, who was already struggling financially as it was, would have to pay high bills just so he could talk to somebody with a note pad who would probably care more about the money than about him.
Tag: Melissa McCall
Wordcount: 671
Notes: And here was I thinking I'd only get a short post done ^^ I'm dying of the feels